Kok™

    It had been raining the whole of last week, thus I was grounded at home during most of the days. I would wake up in the late evenin or nite for dinner, then online the whole nite, wait for the sun to rise every morning and disappointed by the intensity of it, followed by rain to deter me from goin for my long awaited swim, then to bed. Nothin constructive done, and I began to doubt my purpose of existence. Such a monotonous life carried on for a few days before I cldn’t take it, and cycled out last Sunday mornin for breakfast by myself at Science Centre Mac, then to the pool. Weather was still fine when I reached, but the moment I changed to my swimmin trucks and got out of the changing room, it poured…. Heavily… Drenched and grounded in juz my swimming trucks, I found shelther (wch barely protected me from the strong wind and rain dat was blown in) and sang to my mp3 songs from my handfone for ard 3 hrs, shivering. It was such moments dat gave me the mood and chance to reflect on my emotions, and I called up or smsed a few frens whom I’ve not contacted for sometime, and it was fruitful. Coincidentally, one of my gal fren was gettin married dat actual day, juz when I smsed to ask if she was married!!

    Had my swim in the rain when lightnings ceased, and came up to the deck chairs to rest aft the rain to njoy the subtle warmth of the sun wch barely shows itself, hiding away from me behind the clouds. Went to the gym earli since no sun to tan anyway.

    Dat was last week. This week’s weather has been the opposite. It was sunny everyday!! Finalli!! And of coz I treasured the sun more than ever. The fone calls and smses proved to be fruitful, as frens came back to update me abt their lives. One was attached to another common fren, another patched back with her ex etc etc… And my life was busy again… Met fren for movie, chatted thru the nite, went straight to blood bank for donation, met another few frens for kopi and Ikea and went QW to window shop, met another fren for dinner at Jurong then sent her home, met another fren at Lakeside, went home and consoled cum advise another fren till mornin before I finali fell asleep. Such was an example of 2 days this week, meeting frens continuously… Settled some other relationship problems for frens, ordered and collected my contact lens, farewell dinner at fren’s house…None as serious as a poor fren of mine who was raped by her new boyfren whom she had juz known for a week. Advised her to go for medical checkup, and make police report. But…. Long long story, but not my story so I shall not blog on abt it…

    And finalli the last day of my holidays is here before school starts. Been a long time since I went school for full-time study. Was glad my last week of holidays had been fruitful. In fact quite a lot of things happened this whole holidays. Will be goin over to Batam with a few frens to relax finali later in the day, and be back on Monday to face the new semester!!

    Woke up last nite by Yong’s call to inform me dat yesterday was the last day to register for FYP selection. Rushed online to choose but still didn’t make it to register in time. So now gotta wait till everyone has been allocated their preference of FYP before I get to choose wat’s left over…again… as usual…

    Was telling Yong dat my Special Sem Exam would be today at ard 1pm. Decided to check to tell him the exact time coz mayb meeting him aft the paper to go patronise the fruitstall uncle’s new stall in canteen 5. Checked and found out it is 9 am instead of in the aftnoon!! Was glad I checked if not gonna miss my exam again, goin to school like a fool in the aftnoon to realise dat the paper is in the mornin!!

    Was ard 3am when I started to study for the exam. Didn’t attend a single lecture and thus was overwhelmed by the overload of information dat I got to memorise in order to have somethin to write for the exam. Shldn”t have chosen this module, not much understanding, mostly memory work which I hate. Mayb getting old, memory failing me, and failing to register information wch I deem isn’t useful in life. Gave up and took a rest at 5 plus am, checked online for the exam venue. 26th July, 9 am. Correct, I didn’t rem wrongly. Went on to read my horoscope for the day, since I had enuff of memorising points to answer questions and having a feeling dat the same question wun be repeated this time round anyway.

    Horoscope for the day: 25th July. 25th July?!! Today is 25th?? I checked the exam date again: 26th. I didn’t believe myself. Checked the calender on my desktop: 26th July is Thursday. Why then did I rem, or had the impression that 26th is Wednesday? Zzzz… Means the exam is tomolo, not today… Oh well…another kok-up…

    Sigh… Ok then gotta replan my schedule. Depending on the weather later, mayb I will go for a swim. Hadn’t had one for more than half a month. Evenin will be goin to NS’s grandma’s wake. Helped to inform as mani pple as I cld liao, datz like the only thing I cld do for him apart frm being there for him tonite. Tomolo mornin exam, so gotta cancel watever I have planned for the mornin. Aft dat I shld be quite free le, apart from a trip or 2 wch I may decide not to go if finance and time do not permit. And dat shld end my activities for this long holidays… And back to busy school life wch I hope I can get accustomised to asap… Can’t afford to fail anymore modules le…

    Been a long long time since I last blogged… Found a post wch I drafted back in 1st May but did not managed to complete to post. Outdated stuff, but alas, since typed, I shall post. Here it is:

[
        It has been more than a month since I last updated my blog. Hadn't had time for friendster, or rather, lazy and no mood for it.

  It has been more than a month (since 17th Mar) that Granny has
been hospitalised, operated and lying in ICU. Been visitin her whenever
I cld aft work, and comin home late at nite. She regained consious
liao, but still cannot realli move and cannot tok at all. Been
struggling to get up coz she wanna go home, and she was quite strong in
her struggle. She tried once in a while to communicate with us thru her
finger signs, but none of us understood wat she wanted to say, so we
cld only guess and she wld nod her head slightly, or give a frustrated
expression when we guessed wrongly.

  Her condition got better last week, or so we were told, and was
shifted to normal ward last Friday. Hired a day nurse and night nurse
to take care of her exclusively, coz for normal wards, there is only
one nurse attending to 10 patients. That costed a few hundred everyday
just for the nurse.  And guess wat? Granny was back in juz aft a few
days, coz got "milk" in her lungs. Milk dat was fed to her. Doctors
came, rescued her, and the explaination they gave was dat the
bloatedness of her tummy caused the milk to go into her lungs. ????
Wtf??? Where got logic? More likely somethin went wrong in the feedin
process, wrong tube mayb, and milk was fed into her lungs instead by
the part-time nurse hired. But then...ok no edvidence better dun anyhow
say, later gena sued... But poor Granny was so jialat and was sent back
to ICU.

  Dat was a few days back...now she is better liao, but still gonna
be in ICU for at least a week before she MAY go back to normal ward...
A few hundred thousand dollars spent liao, realli hope all is not
wasted effort, and she cld regain back her health soon and be able to
go home. And my mummy and aunties all can lead back their normal lives
and work instead of the everyday visit to hospital.

  Things at work has been piling up. Hadn't been updatin my log book
entries since week 6, and now is ard week 17 or 18 liao. And week 20
gotta submit my report to the school liao. ZZzz... Datz for school. For
my company, got a few presentations to prepare for, thou for the same
topic, but diff audiences gotta present differently. Presented my
project to colleagues and my boss last week, then again to boss's boss.
Reported and presented according to facts, but was "asked" to change
here and there, in fact changin my whole project flow coz there were
things I wasn't supposed to report as it is to "outsiders". Needa cover
up mistakes made by my department.Zzz. Next week gonna present it to a
whole group of Mech Engrs from my company, and of coz before dat my
boss and his boss wanna scan thru 1st to see if wat I present will be
politically correct, so meanin I gotta present to them yet again.
Zzz... Week aft dat NTU Prof coming down so gotta rush my log book,
report, and an oral presentation to him to sum up my IA. Aft dat is to
coordinate and organise a farewell for all the interns, including mine.
Also, to prepare to take part in the Best Project Competition, and if I
manage to win anythin, to present again during farewell party.

  A few other projects at work has been progressing well, but I am
losing track of them liao, coz Uncle Mic has been handling them and I'm
not realli in the loop. So gotta catch up... IA ending soon but at
least I muz hand over the projects nicely...

1st May 2007, Tuesday. 8.30pm

]

    Yes, as mentioned in my previous post, my last and only Granny passed away in June and ended her 80 plus years old life story. How short life is… At least she need not suffer in the hospital anymore…

    Ended my IA on the day she passed away, and was awarded with the Gold award of DSTA Best Project Competition. Wasn’t in the mood at all and had to force a smile when I went up to receive the award… And thus ended my 22-weeks Industrial Attachment. Was pleased with my performance and results of the IA.

    Aft being tied down by the funeral etc, went for my diving course and got my cert aft the trip. The dives were rather fruitful, was lucky to be able to spot some sea creatures seldom seen. Now still waiting for them to send me my certification card and I can go diving anywhere within the limits of my trainin liao.

    Honey passed away on the 6th of July. She had been ard in many scenes of my fond memories and will continue to be ard.

    Went for my reservist ICT for 2 weeks. Was more busy than the previous ICT; cld be quite relaxed if not for myself volunteering for various responsibilities. A typical training day started with me moving out of camp at 4:30 am and stepping back in bunk only aft mid nite. But all was worthwhile, savying the satisfaction of accomplishment and the warmth of familiar faces in the various bunks aft training hours.

    Farewell to one of our fellow soldiers who passed away during the period of reservist. Military funeral for him wld not seem enuff for the lost. The Battalion got to move on. Dead or Alive. Leave no man behind.

    Without realising, my intersem examination is starting this comin week. Had not been attending lects nor done any studying by myself, having skipped so mani lessons due to reservist. Gotta try to catch up and prepare for the exam on Wed.

    Will be free for a while aft this exam till school reopens, except for Blitz competition wch me and Patrick have decided to take part again this year.

    Juz came back from cycling in the rain and listening to songs.

    夜里耳际响起情歌时，心中想起谁呢？孤单的夜晚细雨朦胧， 心中又浮现谁的脸庞?

。。。 。。。

    Have not been updating my blog for quite a while… Dunno how to catch up…

    Ok got back my internet connection a week ago…

    16th Mar, Friday, aft work had tuition and went off with Jason and Dae and frens to a few places to explore haunted houses with historical significance. Came back in the mornin.

    19th Mar, Monday, Boss told me he wun be free on Tues to meet my tutor, so gonna postpone it to Friday instead. Tuesday I wasn’t prepared when he smsed to tell me my tutor was still comin down!! So I rushed down in cab and met my prof in office, spoke to him and got accessed by Mic since Boss wasn’t ard. Ok finali itz ok, next visit wld be 10 more weeks later.

    23rd Mar,Friday then tuition again. Sat went to watch Mr Bean at Vivo and saw Yong’s potential date for the 1st time.

    Nothin signicicant I can rem liao.

Granny was hospitalised on Sat nite, 17th Mar. Tuesday nite, 20th Mar, she went in for operation. inserted a ballon and did a by-pass on her heart. Had 3 heart attacks since Sat nite, so it was an urgent decision to operate or not, to gamble, coz if not, she only had 15% chance to live on. Her condition seemed ok on Wed mornin, but aftnoon it got worse again. Kidney started to fail and had to do dialysis on her. Then liver oso toxic building up. So she was on sedatives since the operation and was lying half-consious in icu all these while. Cldn’t tok to her when we visited her oso, only can see her suffering from outside. Her heart beat is maintained by machine, kidney cleansed by machine, tubes in her mouth and nose down to her stomach and lungs to remove built up of gases and phlegm in the stomach and lungs. Lungs were infected oso, digestive system had not work since Sat nite when she was juz sent in to ICU. Her hands were tied to stop her from pulling away the equipments on her body, wch was definitely uncomfortable. And we could only watch her gasping for air and suffering on the bed, with a bloated neck and stomach, with all those machines ticking and drawing graphs to show her sustained life and monitor it.

    Now can only wait at the hosp for updates by the docs, and hope she can get well soon. Juz had dinner with her not long ago during CNY, and on Monday nite when we visited her in ICU, she cld still joke with us, and was determined she didn’t want an operation. But she decided to gamble with it, since she still got the chance. And now there she is, fightin to survive and we all cld only worry and hope for the best.

    And yah, life gotta go on for the rest of us. Projects at work have been approved, thus construction stage starting, so I shld be getting busy goin down to work sites to supervise. Aft work then go down to visit Granny, and hopefully her condition gets more stable with no new complications and we can visit her in normal wards instead, and tok to her to let her know she is not alone…

    And frens out there, hope things are well while I am missing frm ur lives all these while…

To frens out there: Dun worry I’m fine. Bo dai ji eh lah. Nothin I can’t handle. Juz dat recently wun have internet to use at home, and busy when I’m in office so no time to update my blog nor go msn. So no worries… Will be back in action very soon, drinkin sessions and kopi, KTV, and I very long no DotA with u all liao!! Ok time to get busy and get on with life… I’ll be back…

    Left work very late on Friday, came home and wanted to have dinner but my dinner was eaten up by someone else instead, so I went out to meet a fren to eat and chat at JE. Were dicussing abt this gal he like in his lab. Came home at close to 11 and was waiting for Jason to come over till I fell asleep.

    Saturday mornin went to the blood bank. Reach there at noon thou. Did double donation so took much longer and was feeling a little bloated and nauseous rite aft the return stage of the last cycle. But I was fine very shortly. Watched Pirates of the Carribean and Lady in the Water while doin my donation. Next donation is on 4th April. Had late lunch at Toh Guan, before I went home to get my bike and cycled over to Lakeside to the pool. Had my hair cut finali in the evenin. Came home and showered and rushed down to Suntec to meet the guys for movie. Vinc’s BDay a few days back, so mainly is to come out and meet him. Watched 300, a show abt the Spartans. Ended at 1130 and we walked over to near Funan, had a drink and ate cup noddles and sandwich as dinner. It was great to be with them like we did in Sec sch. Chatted at the bus stop till 230 am before we decided to go catch the nite rider. Waited very long for it to come. Reached Jurong at omoz 4, then had a drink at Toh Guan with Wee and to chat. Slept in the mornin.

     Slept till near evenin on Sunday. Woke up for late lunch, then cycled over to Lakeside again to swim. Was lazy to go swim. Came home for dinner and planned to cycle over to Jason’s place, but was gettin late, and since I juz had dinner, gotta wait, so in the end I asked him to come over instead, but he didn’t. Waited till I slept late at nite.

    Woke at noon today. Tokked to Dad for a while before I left home. Had lunch oppo office before I come up. Didn’t wanna see anyone, thus am now hiding in the conference room to do my things.

    No internet access at home from now till dunno when. So can only check my mails etc in the office. Reflected a lot abt the future yest. I may be smiling and joking, but the weight on my shoulders is heavy, and there are worries and bitterness in my heart, thou I may not show. And I dun wanna see mama cry again…

  6th March, Tuesday:

    Nothin much at work. Glad to receive replies from emails I sent last week. Replied mails, liased personnels involved. Had duck rice at oppo for lunch again. Steph came to "visit" me but didn’t even stay for a drink, juz Hi and Bye. Caught up with work aft lunch, then by 3pm, nothin to do liao. So played 1 game of DotA in office. Wahaha… Left at ard 5 to go meet Steph at West Mall. She was late, thou she reminded me not to be late, took a cab down and we went over to Vivo. Walked ard a bit while she was tellin me her situation, while waitin for Ivy to come. She late oso, even thou she oso tell me dun be late. Lol. Collecting dinner and movie tickets frm her, in the end she made a mistake with the venue, was at Great World instead. Lol. Then she so paiseh, kept wantin to treat us to compensate, I refuse, but she insisted and didn’t wanna join us for dinner…zzzZZ… So I gave in, let her treat somethin cheap instead of whole dinner, juz bought some meat balls and snacks. Then she gum wan go home. Walked ard with Steph, ate this and dat along the way. Didn’t realli eat much as a meal, but all the snacking was enuff. I was tired frm the walking, thus we took a bus home. Reached home at ard 11pm. Did a bit of stuff only and slept late again.

7th March, Wednesday:

    Overslept on Wed. Got ready and left home in 10 min’s record time. Took a cab over. Attended ASD quotation meetin. Only 3 tenders. The 3rd one was Tyco, supposed to end by 1045, but dragged on to 12 plus pm, coz they were chattin and diverting. Uncle Mic goin off aft lunch to a meetin I’m not involved de, so meanin I got nothin to do in the aftnoon. So I had lunch with my colleagues and went home aft lunch. Rested a while and cycled to Lakeside to swim. Sun was good. Napped and tanned before I swam in the evenin. Showered and went to the gym. Shared the stations with Ah Sam. Cycled ard in Jurong Park before I went home. Was online and didn’t sleep till 4am.

8th March, Thursday:

    Slept the whole day again. Woke at 6:30pm, whole body aching. Lol. Vinc’s BirthDay today. Celebrate for him this weekend bah. Played a few games to wake myself up, had dinner and cycled out to BoonLay to pass Liang’s sis their torchlight. Then cycled over to Zhi’s place for a drink and smoke. Yan wasn’t ard. Discussed some things and left at 12 plus. Cycled home and bo dai bo ji omoz the whole nite gone again, thus planned not to sleep so dat I’d go work in the mornin. In the end decided to sleep for 1-2 hrs oso good…

9th March, Friday:

And dat 1-2 hrs of sleep turned into 3-4 hrs. So I was late for work again. Settled my stuff in the mornin. Received energy data from G-Energy. ASD oso settled on wch company liao. Saw Lau a few times but he seemed busy thus I didn’t chase him for Delta House quotation. Had char kuey teow for lunch at oppo, came back and updatin my blog. Juz realised next week is only week 9 to my Prof, coz of recess week. Thus I got one more week to catch up on my log book. Now go had a smoke then come up to catch up.

27th Feb, Tuesday:

    Went to work earli on Tuesday. Mic wasn’t ard omoz the whole day. So I was pretty much left alone to catch up on my stuff. Went to lunch with my colleagues at ard 12. We went to West Mall and separated to eat, coz the gals wanna eat exp stuff, the guys wanna keep it cheap. Aft lunch they were shoppin at the mall, then went over to Coffee Bean to chat. We reach back at office at 3pm!! Well left office late dat day anyway.

28th Feb, Wednesday:

    Wednesday went to work on time. Mic was ard so I checked with him progress of various projects. Chiller cleaning thingy had been hanging for too long liao, so I got the contacts from him to follow up myself. Settled my timesheet for Feb. Aftnoon Mic went off to Tekong and wun be back, so I left aft lunch since there wasn’t anything I can do. Went over to IMM to meet Gladys and had lunch there. Then walk walk and shop shop again. Didn’t buy much this time, heng. Left and came home, went for tuition at 8.

1st Mar, Thursday:

    Mornin Gladys came over in the mornin to meet me. She was left in Jurong and nowhere to go till her lesson at 8am. So she came over to hide at my place till I was ready to leave house. Had a little breakfast before we took bus off to our respective venues. So I reached office on time. Lunched with Nicole. She came over to near my office to meet me, but the duck stall closed, so we went over to West Mall. Was raining. Ate at KFC, then I went to look for wat I wanted to buy, but there dun have. So we took a bus back together. Reached office then she sms me dat her house key still with me. Zzz… Came home aft work and waited for Steph to come bai nian. But in the end she didn’t.

2nd March, Friday:

    Didn’t go to work on Friday. Slept till evenin, then Kim said she was nearby so she came over to use my internet to kill time. Gladys came over too, to use toilet. So they were in my room while I was packing up my things to go camping. Returned Nicole her house keys in town, on the way to campin.

2nd - 4th March:

    Went campin in Ubin. Went to the Thai temple. 1st time got monk there to teach on the rituals and to "bless". But gotta give him angbao. Tokked to villagers along the way whenever we stopped over for drinks. Found one who keeps a boar. Set up tent at Mamam Beach. Camp fire, cooked simple stuff for meals. Full moon, so the whole place was bright. Sunday mornin woke up at 6am and found the place dark. Yong told me itz lunar eclispe. Came home on Sunday aft eating near the jetty. Replied to calls and smses from frens who didn’t know I was out campin. So tot I went overseas. Cldn’t receive signal for Starhub, so I was on Maxis, thus I switched my fone off all the while.

5th March, Monday:

    Didn’t go work on Monday. Cldn’t wake up. Woke in the evenin for dinner, then went up for tuition. Came back and was on msn for a while before I went out for kopi at CG with Kim and Jianwei.  Came home aft midnite.

    Finalli found time to update my blog. Mayb not sleepin tonite liao. Steph broke up with her bf. Meetin her tonite to catch up on wat was goin on.

    Sigh…

    Sunday mornin slept for like 2 hrs then woke up coz Angela coming over to bai nian. Irritating coz she come bai nian, but I never go her place bai nian. So she came over at ard 11.30am, stayed and chatted a while, let her listen to a few songs and showed her my new pen. Wahaha… Then we had lunch at IMM till 1.30pm, chatted a while before we parted coz she wanted to go buy her lingerie and itz not convenient for me to be ard. So I decided to go home, but walked halfway decided to do some shoppin myself. And datz it…spent money again. But think back, only bought a shirt and 2 t-shirts, and shampoos and conditioners, not too much damage done. Came home at abt 4pm, then was online and watchin show on DVD with my family. Had dinner and went out to meet Liang and Joyce at JP.

    Went over to Liang’s place to bai nian. Joyce didn’t dare go up coz 1st time meet his parents. But we coerced her to go up. Had not seen his family for very long liao coz he himself seldom go home. Mani hamsters they are rearing nowadays. Stayed there till 10.30pm, then we were goin home when we decided to go KTV. So we went K-Box at JEC. Sang till ard 2 am, till no voice. Came home and showered etc and it was 4 plus am liao. Slept at 5.30am.

    Got impt event at work on Monday. Supposed to bring pple go site showround, but I didn’t wake and slept the whole day. Mic went alone for the event instead. Feels guilty. Woke up at 11pm at nite, and had dinner, then sat for a while to think abt wat I needa do at work to compensate for my absence at work today.

    Gonna do my part this week and get things moving. And not be late, or rather not be too late this week for work. Muz buck up myself, no matter how my bosses are delayin my projects.

    Trying to sleep earli tonite and be earli at work in the mornin.